My mom had her knee replacement surgery couple of weeks ago in
India. I wanted to go see her after couple of months but did not want to go
during surgery. They live in Chennai but went to Coimbatore for the surgery.
Vijay’s grandma had her knees replaced last year at the age of 86 and she
recuperated well. So after looking at her, my mom agreed for her surgery. When
I went to India for Samanu’s ear piercing ceremony in May/June, I took my
parents on a day visit to Coimbatore to meet with the same Surgeon Dr. Muthu
Saravanakumar at Dr.Muthu Ortho Specialty Hospital. He was very confident and I
liked him and the hospital.
So she finally got the courage and got the surgery done on Aug 6th
Thursday. But after the surgery I became restless and I really wanted to go see
her & be with her for few days. Since I just went to India and came back 2
months ago, I did not have enough PTO to go. But both my employer and the
client were very supportive and they approved my leave. I went to India alone
for a short duration. I booked my tickets from Chicago-Chennai-Chicago. I
booked separate tickets from Chicago to Des Moines while coming back. Also
Prabu (our family friend who is more like a family to us) booked Chennai-Coimbatore-Chennai
flights for me.
On Aug 14th Friday, Vijay dropped me at Chicago airport.
We left home at 4:30 AM and reached Chicago at 10:30 AM for my 1:30 PM flight.
After my 2 flights, I reached Chennai on Aug 15th Saturday night. I
went to my sisters’ house for the night and took the flight to Coimbatore on
Aug 16th Sunday 6 AM. Reached Coimbatore at 7:15 AM. My dad and Thiyagarajan
uncle (Vijay’s paternal uncle) received me from the airport. My parents rented
an apartment closer to hospital to stay for few more weeks in Coimbatore. So,
we went there and both Thiyagarajan uncle and Iswari aunty were there for some
time and left.
I knew my parents will be happy seeing me, but the way I spent the
time I really felt that the impact was much more than what I assumed or thought
of. I was like their kid 25 some years ago. After our wedding especially girls have
more responsibility pleasing husband, kids etc. Our parents move down on our
priority list even though it is not intentional. Some parents do adjust to that
natural change and some do not. They get pretty much upset and think that their
kid changed once they have their own family. I felt that my parents were very
happy that I made them as my high priority (left my kids with my husband in US)
and travelled alone for 1 week to be with them. I think I really made the right
decision.
I gave her lot of confidence to go through physiotherapy and can
talk my heart to them. They were also talking their heart to me which was
really nice. Once I got married I made my visits with husband and kids all the
time and my parents & I did not have our 1-1 bonding time. I felt this 1
week gave that bonding time. It was really precious to both me & my
parents. The rented apartment was empty and we had rented only bed and couple
of chairs. They also bought few pillows and bed sheets. Vijay’s uncle &
aunty provided us with induction stove and some basic utensils.
During the time we stayed, I made vegetable soup, chicken soup,
tea and coffee with whatever little ingredients that we get. It was the most
yummiest food that we had J. We
talked about lot of little things and my mom was telling her about her
childhood things. I encouraged her to not to think about her pain, keep on
talking to her, pushed to practice walking with walker etc. I think I went at
the right time and boosted her confidence. I am glad that I could go and spend
some time with her & dad.
The routine was I make tea in the morning and after sometime my
dad would go get newspaper and breakfast for us. The cute thing was I will ask
for dosa and my mom will instruct my dad to get “egg dosa” for me J. Then
the physiotherapist Kaliyappan will come to help mom. He is one of the most
nicest person I ever met. Even though he is young, he is very patient and
composed. He is good at what he does. He talks to my mom in a nicer way and
make her do all the exercises. Then around mid-morning, my dad will go get
juice for us (technically it is for my mom). After that it is time for us to
think about lunch. My dad found multiple restaurants to get food for different
times to keep the variety going. I understood that my parents missed homemade
food as well as people in Chennai. We did not have TV also in the apartment, so
the only entertainment for my mom is “Books”. But at times it was too much for
her as there was no conversations/talking to help her bear the pain. I got
internet data card and tablet. So, we started watching some comedy episodes in
youtube. It was fun watching it together in a little tablet J.
We went to hospital on Aug 21st Friday to get the
stitches removed. Doctor checked and asked her to come for 10 days follow up
appointment. Then on Sunday Aug 23rd me and my dad went to
Gandhipuram to get sweets from Adyar Anandha Bhavan. We stayed in Singanallur and
did not know that Gandhipuram is little far. I thought that the next stopping
is Ramanadhapuram and the next one is Gandhipuram. But we had to take bus and
go to Gandhipuram. It was around 30 mins in bus. We went to Adyar Anandha
Bhavan and got some sweets. My mom asked us to eat non-veg food outside and
bring her some lunch. And my dad said he saw Anjappar Chettinad restaurant closer
while getting down from the bus. So, after the sweet shopping, we went to
Anjappar. I did not want to eat there and told my dad that we can get “to go”.
He said ok and we ordered good food which includes mutton briyani, karakudi
chicken masala, liver fry and vanjaram meen kulamabu. We went back in bus and
had good lunch with my mom and dad. There was a store Shri Kannan Departmental store
in Singanallur just across from where we stayed. I went there and did some
little shopping. I packed my stuff on Sunday and weighed it and kept ready.
My flight from Coimbatore was at 3:40 PM and I left home around
1:30 PM on Monday Aug 24th. I stayed in Coimbatore with my parents
from Aug 16th Sunday morning until Aug 24th Monday
afternoon. Those 8.5 days are so precious in my life and will remember it forever.
I think everyone in their life should experience it at least once (being just a
daughter to your parents and not a wife or a
mom in front of them). I will treasure those memories forever.
Since I was all alone in all the airports, I could observe lot of
people. It was very interesting. On top of it, I had to help 3 different set of
passengers from Chennai – One girl from Thirunelveli traveling with her kid to
US for the first time, Parents visiting their daughter for the first time, One “over
smart” lady with 2 little kids and got 3 heavy hand luggage. I still do not
understand how she had guts to some alone with 2 kids with those 3 heavy
luggages. I felt being stupid and manipulated while helping her. She is not new
to US and she should know how to travel with little kids when her husband is
not traveling with her. Felt she took advantage of nicer people around her.
That Thirunelveli girl got stuck at customs with some food items and I could
not stay with her as I had some sweets & did not want that little dog to
sniff at my luggage. So I came out and waited but the girl was gone by herself.
Hope she transferred properly to domestic airport to catch her next flight to
Portland from Chicago. I felt so bad that I did not help her properly L.
I spent 3 days in travel and spent 8.5 days with my parents. I
really have to thank Vijay and my little ones for letting me go & my
mother-in-law for helping Vijay taking care of kids. I also need to say many
thanks to Thiyagarajan Uncle, Iswari aunty & Vidhya for helping my parents
in Coimbatore. Their help is really huge, timely and very thoughtful.
Even though the trip was very hectic with 3 flights & 6 hours
of car ride one way & 4 flights to come back to Des Moines, I felt that
this India trip was much more meaningful and thoughtful. I would say this is an
experience of a lifetime and will treasure this forever. And I am sure my parents will do too.
Thanks for reading J.
