An Experience of a Life Time

My mom had her knee replacement surgery couple of weeks ago in India. I wanted to go see her after couple of months but did not want to go during surgery. They live in Chennai but went to Coimbatore for the surgery. Vijay’s grandma had her knees replaced last year at the age of 86 and she recuperated well. So after looking at her, my mom agreed for her surgery. When I went to India for Samanu’s ear piercing ceremony in May/June, I took my parents on a day visit to Coimbatore to meet with the same Surgeon Dr. Muthu Saravanakumar at Dr.Muthu Ortho Specialty Hospital. He was very confident and I liked him and the hospital.

So she finally got the courage and got the surgery done on Aug 6^th Thursday. But after the surgery I became restless and I really wanted to go see her & be with her for few days. Since I just went to India and came back 2 months ago, I did not have enough PTO to go. But both my employer and the client were very supportive and they approved my leave. I went to India alone for a short duration. I booked my tickets from Chicago-Chennai-Chicago. I booked separate tickets from Chicago to Des Moines while coming back. Also Prabu (our family friend who is more like a family to us) booked Chennai-Coimbatore-Chennai flights for me.

On Aug 14^th Friday, Vijay dropped me at Chicago airport. We left home at 4:30 AM and reached Chicago at 10:30 AM for my 1:30 PM flight. After my 2 flights, I reached Chennai on Aug 15^th Saturday night. I went to my sisters’ house for the night and took the flight to Coimbatore on Aug 16^th Sunday 6 AM. Reached Coimbatore at 7:15 AM. My dad and Thiyagarajan uncle (Vijay’s paternal uncle) received me from the airport. My parents rented an apartment closer to hospital to stay for few more weeks in Coimbatore. So, we went there and both Thiyagarajan uncle and Iswari aunty were there for some time and left.

I knew my parents will be happy seeing me, but the way I spent the time I really felt that the impact was much more than what I assumed or thought of. I was like their kid 25 some years ago. After our wedding especially girls have more responsibility pleasing husband, kids etc. Our parents move down on our priority list even though it is not intentional. Some parents do adjust to that natural change and some do not. They get pretty much upset and think that their kid changed once they have their own family. I felt that my parents were very happy that I made them as my high priority (left my kids with my husband in US) and travelled alone for 1 week to be with them. I think I really made the right decision.

I gave her lot of confidence to go through physiotherapy and can talk my heart to them. They were also talking their heart to me which was really nice. Once I got married I made my visits with husband and kids all the time and my parents & I did not have our 1-1 bonding time. I felt this 1 week gave that bonding time. It was really precious to both me & my parents. The rented apartment was empty and we had rented only bed and couple of chairs. They also bought few pillows and bed sheets. Vijay’s uncle & aunty provided us with induction stove and some basic utensils.

During the time we stayed, I made vegetable soup, chicken soup, tea and coffee with whatever little ingredients that we get. It was the most yummiest food that we had J. We talked about lot of little things and my mom was telling her about her childhood things. I encouraged her to not to think about her pain, keep on talking to her, pushed to practice walking with walker etc. I think I went at the right time and boosted her confidence. I am glad that I could go and spend some time with her & dad.

The routine was I make tea in the morning and after sometime my dad would go get newspaper and breakfast for us. The cute thing was I will ask for dosa and my mom will instruct my dad to get “egg dosa” for me J. Then the physiotherapist Kaliyappan will come to help mom. He is one of the most nicest person I ever met. Even though he is young, he is very patient and composed. He is good at what he does. He talks to my mom in a nicer way and make her do all the exercises. Then around mid-morning, my dad will go get juice for us (technically it is for my mom). After that it is time for us to think about lunch. My dad found multiple restaurants to get food for different times to keep the variety going. I understood that my parents missed homemade food as well as people in Chennai. We did not have TV also in the apartment, so the only entertainment for my mom is “Books”. But at times it was too much for her as there was no conversations/talking to help her bear the pain. I got internet data card and tablet. So, we started watching some comedy episodes in youtube. It was fun watching it together in a little tablet J.

We went to hospital on Aug 21^st Friday to get the stitches removed. Doctor checked and asked her to come for 10 days follow up appointment. Then on Sunday Aug 23^rd me and my dad went to Gandhipuram to get sweets from Adyar Anandha Bhavan. We stayed in Singanallur and did not know that Gandhipuram is little far. I thought that the next stopping is Ramanadhapuram and the next one is Gandhipuram. But we had to take bus and go to Gandhipuram. It was around 30 mins in bus. We went to Adyar Anandha Bhavan and got some sweets. My mom asked us to eat non-veg food outside and bring her some lunch. And my dad said he saw Anjappar Chettinad restaurant closer while getting down from the bus. So, after the sweet shopping, we went to Anjappar. I did not want to eat there and told my dad that we can get “to go”. He said ok and we ordered good food which includes mutton briyani, karakudi chicken masala, liver fry and vanjaram meen kulamabu. We went back in bus and had good lunch with my mom and dad. There was a store Shri Kannan Departmental store in Singanallur just across from where we stayed. I went there and did some little shopping. I packed my stuff on Sunday and weighed it and kept ready.

My flight from Coimbatore was at 3:40 PM and I left home around 1:30 PM on Monday Aug 24^th. I stayed in Coimbatore with my parents from Aug 16^th Sunday morning until Aug 24^th Monday afternoon. Those 8.5 days are so precious in my life and will remember it forever. I think everyone in their life should experience it at least once (being just a daughter to your parents and not a wife or a  mom in front of them). I will treasure those memories forever.

Since I was all alone in all the airports, I could observe lot of people. It was very interesting. On top of it, I had to help 3 different set of passengers from Chennai – One girl from Thirunelveli traveling with her kid to US for the first time, Parents visiting their daughter for the first time, One “over smart” lady with 2 little kids and got 3 heavy hand luggage. I still do not understand how she had guts to some alone with 2 kids with those 3 heavy luggages. I felt being stupid and manipulated while helping her. She is not new to US and she should know how to travel with little kids when her husband is not traveling with her. Felt she took advantage of nicer people around her. That Thirunelveli girl got stuck at customs with some food items and I could not stay with her as I had some sweets & did not want that little dog to sniff at my luggage. So I came out and waited but the girl was gone by herself. Hope she transferred properly to domestic airport to catch her next flight to Portland from Chicago. I felt so bad that I did not help her properly L.

I spent 3 days in travel and spent 8.5 days with my parents. I really have to thank Vijay and my little ones for letting me go & my mother-in-law for helping Vijay taking care of kids. I also need to say many thanks to Thiyagarajan Uncle, Iswari aunty & Vidhya for helping my parents in Coimbatore. Their help is really huge, timely and very thoughtful.

Even though the trip was very hectic with 3 flights & 6 hours of car ride one way & 4 flights to come back to Des Moines, I felt that this India trip was much more meaningful and thoughtful. I would say this is an experience of a lifetime and will treasure this forever. And I am sure my parents will do too.

Thanks for reading J.